In Memory of Grandpa: Funeral Customs

13 May 1922 — 17 February 2011

A week ago my maternal grandfather passed away after eighty-eight wonderful years. As I return to this blog form my short hiatus, I thought I would dedicate a post to my grandpa, “Sonny” Herath Punchi Bandara Ellepola, and also give our readers an insight into Sri Lankan funeral customs.

Funeral customs in Sri Lanka vary considerably given the diversity of religion in the country. This article however will focus on Buddhist customs, practiced by about 70% of the population. There might also be minor variations on Buddhist customs based on region.

Herath Punchi Banda Ellepola

Born on May 1922 in the village of Ellepola, near Matale town, my grandpa was certainly a product of the British colonial era. Educated only in English at a private catholic boarding school, he barely spoke any Sinhalese as a child. Although this became an obstacle post-independence in a pro-Sinhalese government he soon overcame it, learning his native tongue as a young adult and going on to serve a long career in civil office as Co-operative Officer auditing agricultural societies.

If you were to ask him, my grandfather’s proudest legacy would be his personal integrity. During our many chats about his professional work, he would always stress the fact that he never once cheated or accepted a bribe at a time when corruption in the country was becoming commonplace. I on the other hand would always remember him for the individual lives he touched. Although a father to three, his house was home to many more — an adopted child and several nephews from rural towns — all of whom he looked after and helped send to private school.

Grandpa was indeed a worldly person, curious of other cultures and abreast of world opinion through his Reader’s Digest periodicals. Some of his fondest memories were meeting two American volunteer workers who taught him to play the card game Bridge. Unfortunately a victim of the times, his global travel was limited to only two other countries — the United Arab Emirates and United States. When he visited me in New York in 2005, I had never visited the Statue of Liberty although I lived there and he insisted we do so regardless of the 3 hour wait in a standing line.

Funeral Customs: Coming Back Home, One Last Time

My grandfather passed away on February 2011 at Kurunegala’s Nawinne Hospital. Shortly after he was declared deceased, his body was embalmed, dressed and brought back home for one last time. It is generally tradition that they are brought back to a place that was once their home, however today some final farewells are also done at a funeral parlor for convenience.

The body is brought home and laid to rest prominently in an open casket in the main living-room area, traditionally under two ivory tusks and a white cloth canopy. Today, given that ivory poaching is illegal, imitation tusks are used more commonly.

An Open Invitation, A Funeral Home Never Sleeps

If you were to drive pass a funeral home in Sri Lanka, you cannot miss it. The home of the deceased and nearby streets are lined with white flags and banners to signifying their mourning. For a period of two or three days while the body remains home, funeral homes are always an open invitation welcoming all from near and far to come pay their final respects and no one is turned away. During my grandfather’s I met several neighbors that none of us had seen before, yet they came to offer my mom their support.

Generally a funeral home never sleeps and has plenty of food and drinks going around. While the deceased is still home, it is customary that at least one person remains awake throughout the nights. The closest affected may mourn their loss in private, while others usually congregate outside the house in makeshift tents playing cards, checkers or “carom” whiling away the hours.

Cremation Rituals

When the time comes for final ceremonies, the casket is closed and carried out of the house. In the past turmeric was used as common disinfectant and today a tradition continues where turmeric powder is sprinkled on the floor where the casket used to lay. Outside, Buddhist priests recite a final blessing and eulogies are read. The body is then carried in a procession to its final resting place

For Buddhists the choice is between a burial or, as with my grandpa, cremation. Once the procession reaches the funeral pyre, they circle the pyre three times in a clockwise direction and then place the casket. It is tradition that only two men a generation younger, either a nephew or son-in-law of the deceased, light the pyre. Before setting the pyre alight, they both encircle it three times without looking at the pyre, each in the opposite direction and holding a flaming torch behind their backs. Once the funeral pyre is lit the two men undergo a cleansing ritual, washing themselves with water and lime.  My grandpa was cremated in an electric crematorium which doesn’t require ignition by flame, nonetheless these rituals are mimicked and continued.

Seven Day Memorial Service

Exactly seven days after grandpa’s passing, as per tradition we had a memorial service with a religious sermon and alms giving to Buddhist monks. During this it used to be customary in the past that all items last used by the deceased were donated to the monks. Today while the practice is not carried out to its literal meaning, it is mimicked at a tradition and a sleeping mat, pillow and broom are donated instead.

References: 
1. “About us”, Department of Co-Operative Development